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Thursday, 30 August 2007

Skinny, Skinnier, Scrawny. PHAT

Skins and bones have forever been the in-thing for girls (even women). Competitive self-consious ones are the worst of the lot. It doesn't help that the world see size zero as beauty.

Often had i laughed and sneered at aneroxics and thought nothing but negative of them. I was often the one to be the most sinical and opinionated. This all ended when i reach 21. Weight was never a problem for me before that. I could eat without even a pinch of guilt. The weight gained and somehow dissapered soon after. I was always a 36kg on the scale. Yeah, i do admit i was on the skinny side, but im short.

My weight woos started soon after i graduated and stepped into the working world. I started gaining a few pounds here and there. Always thinking that it'd go away, i never exercised. I also started to binge eat. Many started to tell me that i was looking a little fat, but i didn't bother. To me, i still looked owh-kay.

Only when i couldnt fit into my size 24 that i realised that its bad.. I also avoid taking pictures now cause i look fat. I feel ugly!! It does not help that i'm often surrounded by lanky beautiful models on a regular basis that sometimes i end up force-vomitting. Its awful. The worst part is when ma keep pointing out the fact that i have a belly now. She insists on pointing it EVERY single time she meets me!! I tried dieting. Lost maybe about 2kg, then gained some.

Now i'm desperately aiming to fit back into my size 24 or at least 26. Its depressing. My self-confidence start shattering each time i'm to face a beutiful bod gal. Damn.


Shemah said...

I'm sure it can't be that bad.. Even if you put 10 kgs on top of your 36kg frame, you'll still look great. Syura claims to be vertically challenged too but she's still skinny as a rail at 46kg.

Anyways, I hope you're taking good care of yourself. Just don't get too stressed out thinking about it, k?? *hugs*

Ratu Syura said...

Being vertically challenged as shemah puts it makes it even harder for us cuz gaining a bit of weight is obvious for us shorties.. I think weight doesn't really matter, it's the fat percentage that counts. You could weight 46kg and have more muscle mass than fat. So just do lotsa cardio and don't barf out your food! Take care hun! :)

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