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Wednesday, 7 July 2010

If only life comes in a remote with a pause and rewind button. Or also a ctrl + del

I got the wedding ticker for my blog today. Something i've said no to at first. I do not want it to keep reminding me of how fast time flies (or shoot, if i may say). Life as it is now is a mess. And the ticker does absolutely nothing except for pushing me closer to the brim of insanity. I've declared myself mentally unstable and tired. 

Preps are getting along fine, but helping him save up for the hantaran seems to be out of reach. The light at the end of the tunnel? Or just the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? I'm already doing multiple jobs for this reason, him too. But the harder we try, the more the deeper the tunnel seem to be. Its like catching something totally unreachable. The pot of gold. 

On Sunday, we were actually scheduled for our pre-wedding photoshoot. Woke up to the sound of heavy-rain. It was raining cats and dogs! My photog called saying that most prolly we have to postpone to a later date. 

"KL dah gelap giler, ni sure hujan lebat." 
"Tulah dier, Shah Alam dah lebat sangat dah ni. Macam maner ye?
"I tak berani nak janji. Takut you tunggu lame. Ape kate kite postpone je shoot ni"

What?? Postpone??! I took unpaid leave from work just so that i coud settle as many things as possible! And i did it without sleeping the whole night! Not even a wink!! Okay okay. This was what happened... i woke up to terrible tummy cramps on Thursday, we to the doc and was given a jab for the pain. Paid the bills at the management office still in pain and had to bloody wait for a full hour! Got home, made myself a cuppa hot milo and a slice of bread, took the pain meds and slept. Woke up at around 5 and had to change the you-know-what. Watched a little telly and the pain started again. Full blown that i had cold sweats. Took summore pain meds and fell asleep till around 2am. Woke up fresh and painless, i plonked myself in front of the telly. Knowing work awaits me the next day, i tried to coax myself into sleeping. 4am, still wide awake. 6am, eyes droopy, but still not sleepy. 8am, eyes damn heavy. Decided to take leave. Going to work in this state is a big NO-NO. 

The sun was up, sleeping is just a dream. Bathed and got ready to run errands. We accomplished most our pending tasks that day. Owh ya, Kiki took a day off work too. We went first to the bank to get his road-tax renewed, rush off to Kepong to get the wings, to One Utama for his shirt and my sandals (for the shoot), went to Tesco to get the Roti John ingredients and also our toiletries stock-up. Dinner, home. Migraine was already escalating and got worst as we got home. It was so bad that i was nauseated. Got home, slept for EXACTLY ONE HOUR! Power nap. That's what they call it i believe. Woke up and had to cook and prepare the things for the Roti John stall. damn. Finally got to sleep at 4am. 

The alarm sounded at 8am. Woke up still in a daze and had to get myself ready for work. Kiki fetched me after and we headed straight to BBC. Were there the whole night. Came back, went back to Damansara and back to Shah Alam at 5am, thinking that'll be easier if we slept over at my parents since Darzian will be doing us up here. And.... it rained.

I'm disappointed, frustrated, tired. If only life comes with a remote, i will now press pause.

sheena the lola

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