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Monday, 7 February 2011

When it feels like heaven

More than a month has passed and i'm still trying to get accustomed to being a wife. It's tiring especially the part where its my parents this weekend, and his the next and suddenly something pops up and we have to rush back to his or mine again.. And then telling ourselves that we will abide by the new rule of 1 weekend at his parents and 1 at mine, then 2 weekends by ourselves; but not really going thru with it.

Sigh.. People actually mean it when they say enjoy urself to the fullest before even deciding to tie the knot. So true.. Coz as soon as the kadi says "Sah", u see ur friends lesser. Its like they somewhat vanished into thin air. Well, i guess i know and understand their separation. "Bukan xnak call ke lepak.. Tak mau lah kacau org tgh kawen.." Its the sacrifice we make. 

Okay.. Enuff about that, i so badly want a baby!! A red flag last month really got the better of me. Damn the calculations!!! Don't plan Sheena.. When ade rezeki, ade lah tu.. <- My mantra to boost my self esteem! 

Sheena the retired lola 


Just as i type "no friends", i had the sudden urge to call my my bestie for a lepak-ing session (hubs at e studio working late). The lepak-ing session turned out to be a heart-pouring time for my bestie. Let's just say, trouble in paradise for her who's gonna be hitched in 4 months. Listening and trying to mentally analyse the situation, i had to be extremely careful not to judge or be bias. Reminding myself more often then not; that i am just a listening ear n a shoulder to cry on; Kleenex even. Butting in only when i feel appropriate. Now, rewinding the conversation, i had some thinking of my own. Something that i know all of you would shake your head violently too.. I can hear the gasps and owh-nos already. Did i make the right decision? Did i get married just for the sake of being married and not wanting to become an old dame? Astaghfirullah.. Get a grip Sheena. I called him up straight after. That feeling i get when he answered the phone all sweet just calms my nerves.. I know i love him. And that was the reason i got married. The ONLY reason (apart frm stability, religion and the sorts, which feels somewhat secondary).

Back to the topic of adapting. Maybe once in awhile, i do need that assurance; that sense of security and comfort to know that i indeed did good. And maybe adapting to the fullest takes time. And that time differs from one wife to another.. 

To my friends and to all fiancĂ©es out there, be sure and only when u'r absolutely sure, do you take that step to end singlehood with that person. Coz the heartbreak that happens after a wedding is so much more unbearable. And to even think you'll plan to live a life of uncertainty is no way to live.. 

*dedicated to the ones i love... 

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